Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
