her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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