i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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