she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
