Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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