why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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