My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
