I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
