I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
