dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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