Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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