Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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