pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
