So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
