Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize