You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Dignity is for republicans.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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