She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize