We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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