no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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