OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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