I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
