I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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