Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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