Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
