i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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