Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
