Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
