yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
