shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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