i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
