There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
