Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
