Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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