scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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