It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
