drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
