hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
