I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize