Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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