ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
