I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
