Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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