I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
