My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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