I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
