I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
