Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
