soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
