Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
how drunk are you?
Several
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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