I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize