Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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