is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I believe in your delicious
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
