just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
