so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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