I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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