drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
