omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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