you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
