It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
