Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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