Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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