Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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