Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
