it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
