Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
